Hi Dearest @Sophia1 please don't apologize for the belated response, im glad you waited until you felt more comfortable and more at ease to send an extended reply.

Yes i really struggle allowing anyone to get close to me, i have been hurt so many times and just don't have the energy or the will to take the chance again. 

I struggle now with how rude and how angry people are today, it really scares me and seeing how society world wide is breaking down, i just can't cope with society as a whole even more so now. 

I still find pleasure in the flora and fauna in my yard and in the river close by, wild animals seem to be so at peace with who they are and how they live. they don't seem to have the need to judge others. 

I have so many fairy wrens, honey eaters, sparrows and minor birds. they love playing in the garden and i find such joy just listening to them even though most of the time i can't see them.

We are coming into Autumn so im looking forward to my viburnum's coming into flower i get so so many bees, both honey and native bees in them. i can walk right up to the shrubs and even put my hand in amongst the bees and they just go about their business without a care in the world.  

Im so glad you spend time with your son and time out even if it is just to do simple things. we all need a break in the cycle of being home. 

I really hope you have found your peace and are able to find ways to enjoy it, as with myself my life is not perfect but i have come to be grateful for what it is and make the most of my situation. 

hugs my dear friend, wishing you a wonderful afternoon.

Jacques