Try not to think about it as 'your fault' @Former-Member - you have been through a huge amount and there was no way you could have done the training/study when you were so unwell. Also remember that you are working full-time and that is certainly NOT what was planned. It is a hard enough job as it is without having to return to work after a year away and have to go straight back to full-time work - and look how far the year has come and you with it lj - you are getting there even if it doesn't feel like it. 

I wish I could do more to help you - maybe I could sneakily do the training/study for you lol 

There is a 2 day course coming up next month that I would really like to do but I know I wouldn't make it past the first hour of each day (plus I don't have the money either).

One foot in front of the other when we can hey - and sit and try not to worry when we can no longer walk - easier said than done but I can hope for that - for both of us