Hi @CheerBear,

Wow, I can't believe people said some of those things to you during your time in a refuge. That is so awful. Just reading those comments, I can feel the pain of the invalidated feeling in my tummy. It amazes me how much people don't get it - even people in the helping professions.

I have real issues with the whole concept of positive reframing because I think so often it is done in a really clumsy way that ends up feeling super invalidating. I super like the concept of sitting with big feelings - hence why I spend most of my time out on the ocean riding waves. The idea of sitting with them rather than trying to push them away or fight them is definitely one of the biggest things I've got out of reading the DBT manual (the first time around ). It makes SUCH a difference. And as you said, CheerBear, if we sit with the feelings, we discover that they do actually pass and in fact, pass quicker than if we fight them or try to tell ourselves that we shouldn't feel that way.

I'm super glad that you have had positive experiences here in Forum Land of hearing messages that it is a bazillion percent ok to feel what you are feeling.