Hi @SGde3a @Gypsy7 @mentalstuff @CheerBear @Appleblossom and anyone else floating around.

@mentalstuff I super like your avatar. We started off this thread with an introduction to DBT. Was that helpful in giving you a sense of what DBT is all about? If you have any more questions about it definitely just jump right on in and ask them

Ok, so it seems like we are up to the actual doing bit of this adventure now, thanks to CheerBear. I think I'm going to start doing the doing bit by reflecting on what CheerBear has written...

Behaviours I would like to decrease

I would superly duperly like to reduce the amount of interpersonal conflict I seem to get myself into. I spend most of my time not being able to either make myself understood or understand what others are saying. Consequently, I get into a LOT of social muddles.

I would also super like to be able to cope with change better.

However, the biggest thing for me out of that list that CheerBear gave us is definitely emotion dysregulation. I would oh so badly like to not get such big feelings. I am curious to know how others experience emotion dysregulation. For me, big feelings are intensely physically painful such that I will drop to the floor and just start screaming with the pain of it at times. I also make a lot of weird noises (which would more formally be termed verbal stimming). When I'm in that level of distress, I will also often engage in a particular form of SH as a means of dealing with the pain. To me, these behaviours are not the thing to be "fixed." The thing to be fixed is the emotion dysregulation that drives them. To me, the behaviours are simply a consequence of the cause, which is the emotion dysregulation.

Skills to increase

I super want to get better at all four of the DBT modules (mindfulness, interpersonal effectiveness, emotion regulation, distress tolerance). I guess that's why I've embarked on this adventure.

Skills training assumptions

I really like the assumptions that DBT is based on. This is because they are SO different to the assumptions that most people have about those of us with BPD (and probably about people with mental health issues in general too). I particularly like the assumptions that people are doing the best that they can and that they want to improve. So many people across my life have told me that I'm demanding and manipulative and utterly selfish and difficult and annoying and exhausting to be with and scary. It hurts so much because I know in my own heart that I really am always trying my very best - even when my very best looks like utter chaos to those around me.

I have to say, I think in a "real" DBT group, the facilitator would have to be very sensitive in the way they discussed the idea that people need to be better, try harder, and be more motivated to change. I like that CheerBear included the note in there clarifying that statement. I don't know about anyone else, but that statement does not sit well with me. As I said, I know I am always doing the very best that I can. Methinks I would not respond well if a therapist said that statement to me.

My ultimate goal is to gain and sustain employment and thereby get off welfare. Right now I'm not entirely sure how realistic that goal is, but it is still the goal for now. I know that the two biggest barriers to me being in employment are the way I struggle to communicate effectively in face-to-face interactions and the very severe emotion dysregulation. Thus if I could fix that, that would be super.

Ok, well those are my thoughts. I will probably write some more over the next couple of days, but I think that will do for now.