Thank you @Winterz Perhaps we can talk elsewhere on the forum as it is natural and feels right. Loss of your mother when young is a key issue. I agree that griefwork takes a lifetime. I have had more than my fair share. I have started a home thread called "Fragile" you are welcome any time.

I do not want to derail this thread from what I see as an important endeavour. I moved from laughter to tears in a day. Without me exerting excessive control on myself. Thats ok.

I also hope that people do not get side tracked by small differences in viewing what is therapeutic for them.  I was wondering whether to delete my post but will let it stand for now and see what happens further with @Phoenix_Rising effort.