It sounds as if you are damned if you do and damned if you don't @Zoe7

When you were working you were numb to your situation and now you rethink and rethink and this must be horribly confusing - there are times when I feel as if I am thinking to much about something - it really does make the other more productive thoughts harder to maintain

Without going into it there was a time when my children were young when I was burning out fast and sometimes I wonder how much was a real event and sometimes wonder if I dreamed it - but I know I could not make up what my son was doing - that was a nightmare I do not want to relive - but I have - in the past

So without knowing a whole bunch of details I have an idea of what you are going through and that is really hard and I care about it

You are alone with your little dog in a cold environment - I know Tassie pretty well - having rellies there I have visited often - and even been there for holidays alone - it must be really hard during winter there

I hope writing about it - even without going into details - helps

Dec