Thanks @Former-Member,

I still plan to go shopping later this evening - super big thank you for making my list for me while I've been hiding under my weighted blanket. 

I am trying so hard to create a life worth living despite the fact that I have no one and no reason to get out of bed in the morning, but I don't know how to keep on keeping on. I truly thought I had something of value to offer, but the message I've received is that no, I have nothing of value. 

I LOATHE tokinism. I find it patronising and icky. Either have a role or don't have a role, but don't create some pretend tokinistic thing that ultimately is meaningless. I want to make a real meaningful difference in the world. I need a REAL reason to get out of bed each day, not some make-believe thing.