I know I"m coming in late and don't know much of what's going on for you, but I just wanted to let you know I'm sorry you're in a position where you have something you need to talk about and nobody is willing or able to talk it through with you. I've been there and it's not a nice place to be.

Could you try calling a hotline like Lifeline, Blue Knot, or the Suicide CallBack Service? I know those are probably not ideal (though I'e heard REALLY good things about BK, but that depends if the wrong is related to their specialised topic) but I wanted to throw them out there as a maybe option anyway. I know they're not the same as talking to someone who knows you already, too, which can be hard.

Either way, know that I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. No tokenism, just genuine empathy and compassion for a turtle in distress.