Hi @BPDSurvivor 

So nice to hear from you 😊

I'm sorry to hear you're still battling a little,  but you sound as though you're coming out the other side after reaching out to handle it head on. You certainly have good self awareness that you can tell yourself and also act on it, by doing things differently. I hope you continue to improve over the coming days - good sleep will definitely help.

I've been on medication for many, many years. At the start of the year, we switched from a SSRI to SRNI. After not much improvement, I asked for a change in treatment and this psychiatrist suggested MAOI - & as you know, it totally didn't agree with me. So, I've gone back onto a SSRI that I was on a long time ago. Having treatment resistant major depression, it will most likely have to be augmented with another medication. It's just not strong enough on its own. I'm already worrying what this psychiatrist is going to suggest, as he totally stuffed me up last year by taking me off one augmentation (that was working sort of ok) and replacing it with high dose antipsychotic. To be fair, he did this when I was in hospital and not in a very good state at all. I'd lost my Dad and had been made redundant at work, and was crying all day everyday. My previous psychiatrist was retiring and I was in limbo a bit regarding Heath professionals. That was my first go at ECT. I was in such a bad way, I didn't make an educated decision on ECT or question the med changes. I know now to research everything he suggests before committing to changes. 

I need help from psychotherapy too, not just medication. But it's difficult finding a good psychologist. I emailed one y'day, on recommendation of trying Schema Therapy, but she's not taking on new clients. I'm finding that's the case with any of the good ones atm.

Here's little Levi after he stole and chewed a hole in my 2nd pair of slippers for the winter.  He's a slipper thief! @BPDSurvivor