I've spoken with the same really gentle catt person. I told her I think I need some help and have agreed to go in tomorrow for an assessment. I think I needed some time to calm down after the shock on Friday. I have a really bad headache and my tummy hurts, which feels very much like gastritis I've had in the past when hit with a mega dose of stress. I'm so scared of it all, and so scared this is going to end up very bad, but I know there's also no coming back from where I'm heading if I leave it too much longer. I'm shattered and feel really yuck so as soon as I have quiet here I'm bringing my pencils to the nest and I'll see the night through knowing I'm safe and cosy in my hiding spot where no-one or nothing scary lurks around.

Thank you @Former-Member for sharing your experience so openly with me, and for also being in the nest. I felt you there even though I couldn't see you. It helped to have read your not all awful story just before she called.

Thanks again for sitting here today everyone