I just need to download somewhere

Up early, had ECT, came home. Another letter from Vic Roads. They are suspending her license from tomorrow until a review can happen. 

She said why did I have to do this. I told her it was not my decision. Mum said but you were the one who insisted on it. I had to explain again that the two options the specialist gave were either hand in her license or do this medical review. I didn't have a say in it.

She got really upset. Can understand that. Also the shock of it happening so soon. Started with the 'I wish I was de*d', 'just k*ll me now', 'just stick me in a nursing home', etc. Started saying there is nothing we can do because you are going away tomorrow and I will just be by myself. How am I meant to get anywhere with you not here. Thanks for the guilt trip mum.

So she has to have this specific eye test done and a driving test. Booked in for eye test tomorrow. That was the easy part. As soon as the paper work for that is filled out then we can proceed to the next part.

Well the driving test has to be done by an occupational therapist. Fine. Rang up a few today that work around our area. Of course living where we do there is not much choice. Left messages. Got onto one OT. Well just for the driving test to be done it is $500. Yes that is correct $500. For a bloody test and that can still mean you fail. If you fail you have to hand in your license. So $500 for nothing.

How is a person who is on the pension (she has no savings or super) meant to be able to afford this? Another way that the system is just screwing you over. So spent the last couple hours trying to get in contact with people and being on hold to Vic Roads for ages.

So have psych via tele health tomorrow. Will have to cut that appointment short by about 10 mins to get mum to her eye test. 

Right now I am back on the phone to VicRoads. Well actually on hold again.

I just need silence around me and in my head. The constant chatter is going overboard.

I am overwhelmed, exhausted and just want to run away. I know it's my mum (and I would do anything for her) but feel like the weight of everything is on my shoulders.

Ok, so if you read up to here, well done!!

As I said, just needed to unload somewhere.