I’ve got this image of you running barefoot! @Jynx. It’s quite hilarious. I hate running but I just hate all exercise! 

I love it. You just do you don’t you. I wish it was just a r@zor I could do myself. But I have shoulder length blonde foiled hair. I always tie it up in a ponytail anyway. 

Not really. My psych knows that I’m not finding joy in anything. I can’t even make myself try and do it. Hence all the time in bed. It just means I can forget. I don’t have to try. I don’t have to face the world. I don’t have to exist. 

I wish I knew how to find it again. I did love doing stuff. Maybe my neurons are permanently damaged. Maybe I don’t deserve to find a way back. Maybe I’m just not good enough. Even thinking about trying feels like a chore. I even got a tweety bird Lego and it’s still not tempting me. I love tweety bird! 

I know getting diagnosed will help me find a better way of treatment. If this ADHD thing comes about at least my psych has it so she can help. I’m more worried about whatever else she finds. At the moment I feel like it’s just more labels. I guess it’ll be better in the long run. If we can find the right meds and treatment plans. I trust my psych to know how to work with whatever comes about. Meds do scare me though as they can mess with my bipolar and cause mania. But I need to stop worrying about it as I don’t find anything out until tomorrow.

If I’m too much it’s ok to say so.