Thanks for dropping by the ocean today @CheerBear and @soul. I made it to my yoga class but now I have crashed again. Today is hard. It's about twelve hours since the storm started and the waves of suicidal ideation keep on washing over me. Right now I can't see a reason to keep on keeping on...but I know it will pass. My brain is so totally scrambled again. I am seeing M tomorrow morning. That isn't very long to hang on for. I'm about to go to bed and I will take some only-in-emergencies medication. Then when I wake up in the morning it will only be a tiny time until I see M. I can do this. I've done this lots of times. And now I have M to help me unmuddle my muddle...even if it is going to take about a trillion years. Today has been horrendous. I'm super glad I don't live on Venus!

@CheerBear can I please sleep in your pocket tonight with Dr Havetodo, Squishy and Mr Seahorse? I really thought last week that I'd moved passed needing to snuggle in your pocket anymore but alas, another storm has descended upon the ocean.

Who is watching over the ocean tonight @Former-Member???

My brain is so scrambled. I super hope M can help unscramble at least today's muddle, when I see her tomorrow. I feel scared that she is going to dump me as the muddleness of the muddle unfolds.

Good night Forum Land.