I can totally relate to your feelings of being let down when you ask for help and help isn't forthcoming @Zoe7. Indeed, this idea relates to what I just posted in the DBT thread about how damaging invalidation can be.

I super hope that maybe you might be able to find the courage at some point to reach out to the moderators again. I think perhaps they are a little overwhelmed at the moment with being a bit short staffed and also helping all the new baby moderators who still have their L-plates on, find their way around Forum Land. I have no idea why people tell us to be open to change @Zoe7, change is always tricky - even positive change! 

Super big thank you for saying I don't need to try to be anything different from who I am. This is definitely a giant part of my muddle, which I am sure my turtle whisperer and I will be discussing tomorrow. I think part of the problem is that the general view of neurotypicals is that aspies have to compromise to fit better into NT society. The thing is, I don't think a lot of NTs realise how much I DO compromise because they only see that I don't totally fit - they don't see how much effort it takes for me to fit as much as I do. Using Faith-and-Hope's analogy of dialects, it's like I've already moved miles from my original village, but people don't see that - they only see that I haven't moved "far enough" based on their judgement of what "far enough" is. I am so superly duperly glad that you and others in Forum Land "get" me. I can see that you, CheerBear, Faith-and-Hope and others have travelled out from your own villages to learn a dialect that fits more closely with mine. I guess the moderator of yesterday hasn't left her home village way up in the hills yet. 

I am still feeling super crushed over the idea that I somehow seem to have breached the community guidelines twice in seven days - once for using a term that I and others (including community guides) have used multiple times before, and once for...well...I still can't quite articulate what I did wrong yesterday.  I am sure NikNik will be able to help unmuddle the muddle. I just so very badly wish it wasn't a public holiday here in NSW today. 

I am super glad to see you here in the cave again @Zoe7.