I hope you don't mind @Phoenix_Rising (and I am sure you won't ) but I am moving into the underwater cave for the foreseeable future. I have packed my pillow, blanket, Toby and Cat and moving in (length of tenancy undetermined at present). It is really good that we both have our own spaces 'off the side' of the cave where only turtles and flutterby's are allowed - so we are together but not together! I do presently feel safer here and it is the only way (for now anyway) that I can see to keep up some connections here - let's see how that goes hey!!!

I totally agree with you on how damaging invalidation can be little turtle. I think alot of people ofte mistake validation for attention also - but they are so very different. I avoid attention at all costs - even to the extent that I will not be in photos for activities with the kids when they are to be published in any form of media (that is also a safety issue for me too). Awards we have received over the years-  for one certain 'activity' that we have participated in each year - I have taken kids to accept the awards and stayed waaaaaay in the background. I do not like any attention on me at all (but that is a far greater issue that does not need to be further discussed here )

But the recognition from others that you have been 'heard' is so important - and when that does not come - or worse you are totally ignored - that cuts deep. It re-inforces our own negative feelings of one-self and if our self-esteem wasn't already at rock bottom then it would soon be there!

I do agree that our baby moderators may be feeling a bit overwhelmed themselves until they get the 'hang of the system' and get to know a bit more about some members (should be in the handbook - obviously we still need to write that section lol) I think maybe a bit like you - there is often some things that I may find 'out of place' or offensive that are left up while I cannot understand how other  things necessarily breach the guidelines (and I know them pretty well by now ) I personally was not in any way offended by your post - as I said - quite the oppposite but I can see (from a complete outsiders persepctive) that your wording may have seemed a little disrespectful - but then there have been way worse things written on here that have been left up. The quandry we face with new moderators will always be that not only are they 'learning' the system but I am sure they want to do a really good job - and that will mean knowing and following the community guidelines to a tee with absolutely no 'wriggle room' - despite the posters best intentions. I definitely get that. In saying that I also want to re-iterate how refreshing it is to have an Aspie Sea Turtle who tells it how it is and is not afraid to speak her mind  What it ultimately comes down to @Phoenix_Rising is we just haven;'t trained 'them' yet - but give it time - and hopefully they will be 'on the same page' to make life a little easier here.

I also wanted to reply to a post you wrote to @Faith-and-Hope I loved what you said about you not changing but knowing there are things you can improve. The core essence of YOU is what does not need to change, but just as we need to get used to advances in technology or different packaging on items (as 2 examples) - the basic underlying construct and purpose of these things do not change - they are just slight 'tweaks'or have added extra dimensions to the base product. if you see yourself as the 'base product' - one that it is definitely ok to be - then the additionals or changes around that base product are simply enhancements of that product. The core YOU does not change therefore at all.

I could go on and on here in response to so many points you raised but I am sure there is only so much 'stuff' even a little turtle can read in one go.

The upshot of this remains the same - I super like who YOU are and I don't see any reason for you to have to change that - adaption not change is the key here @Phoenix_Rising