Keep talking it out. Stay at the computer and just keep talking it out. I also choose to engage in a behaviour that society would deem pathological, but which I personally have no issue with.

@CheerBear You have no idea what this has triggered. The trigger is SO big. I am so very very very close to being done. I have NOTHING outside of Forum Land. If I choose to end my life tonight, the first person outside of Forum Land who will come looking for me will be my turtle whisperer when I don't show on Tuesday. There is nobody outside of here. The relationships I have here are all the relationships I have in the world. And suddenly, randomly, out of the blue, most of the social network I have here seems to have vanished. I have a near-zero attachment system @CheerBear. I don't feel ANYTHING for ANYONE here except for you and Zoe. There, I said it. I don't feel anything. And I know it is the trauma. I know that it is because there has been SO much loss, that my brain simply broke. And now I seem to be discovering totally out of the blue that a whole bunch of people who I thought I had a connection with, suddenly aren't around anymore???