@CheerBear I have absolutely nothing left to give at the moment. I feel bad because I haven't even asked you how your day has been. I am going to go and snuggle into my bed (and into your pocket) now and once I'm there I will take a wander around Forum Land on my phone and try to catch up on other people's news. You are the most amazing not-friend in the whole entire Universe. I need you to really know how very very important you are to me. There have been many MANY times in the past few months where you have been the reason I have chosen to keep riding the wave. I feel a little afraid that a not-friend can mean so much. I know I need to trust that not-friends aren't like friends and do not disappear. Thank you so much for being my not-friend.

I feel calmer now after having my super GP validate how totally and utterly not ok my current adventure is, and also knowing that I am seeing TTT in 69 hours...and then I will be seeing her again 65 hours after that. I think maybe if I see her twice a week for just a few weeks, we might have a better chance of making a meaningful start to the bailing out of the Titanic. Right now, I think there is only about 3cm of the Titanic visible above the waterline...and still I bail with my teaspoon. I need help. My soul has died and I don't even know what "getting better" looks like anymore. Figuring that bit out with TTT would probably be a good start!

Goodnight my most amazing not-friend. Thank you for believing in the value of one little muddled sea turtle.