Hi @Former-Member,

I am really sad to hear that Forum Land still feels unsafe for you. I know how very very important a sense of safety is. 

I so very badly wish I could clone TTT for you. I feel bad talking about her awesomeness, although as @CheerBear said, maybe it can give that glimmer of hope that there ARE helpful helping people out there - they are just painfully few and far between and thus you generally need to go through quite a few brain-mushing ones before you find a good one. 

I know you asked your question rhetorically. I have the same question. I have no idea how my current not-of-my-choosing adventure can be playing out in the way that it is. I do believe in the fundamental goodness of the people involved, but seriously, on what planet could it ever be ok to ask me to do something that was in the best interests of the person who caused harm while causing further distress to me??? What possible thought process could have led them to make that request of me??? I know they are now trying to think up another solution, but nothing in the world can ever change the fact that they put the wellbeing of the one who caused me harm ahead of my wellbeing. Nothing can ever ever change that. So no, I don't have the slightest idea how we can change our negative core beliefs when the message we are constantly receiving from everywhere is that we are worth so much less than others.  The only way I can make meaning out of it @Former-Member is in knowing that it is only because I have experienced what I have experienced, that I can truly hear you and others in similar positions, without needing to know. 

As for cloning me, @Former-Member, given I seem to have a great talent for causing utter chaos wherever I go, methinks there would be a lot of people who would shudder at the mere thought of there being more than one of me!  Now @CheerBear on the other hand, yes we could definitely clone CheerBear. Then when one of her ended up wandering around pyramids when she got lost on her way to the corner store, we could just produce another one of her!