Hi @CheerBear and anyone else interested in my adventures with TTT. 

I just got home from seeing her. This is all SO HARD. We made pretty much zero progress on the current muddle, mostly because I was so amazingly dysregulated. On the bright side, TTT believes it's super important that we stay within my window of tolerance, which works about a trillion times better for me than (A) constantly repeating the same thing when I'm already screaming and self harming! 

So...after I self harmed and managed to break yet another toy, TTT made me do a 1-minute plank and then stand on my head for a while. Then she asked me if I wanted to listen to some music. I said I super liked listening to stories. She asked me what stories and I told her The Gruffalo was one of my super favourites. She didn't know it, so I recited it for her. 

Then we did some drawing and talked a little bit about the muddle while we were doing that. The muddle is so so SO muddled. How could the person at the meeting last Wednesday possibly POSSIBLY have come up with the idea that she did, that puts the wellbeing of the one who did harm ahead of my own? TTT suggested...well...I'm not actually comfortable with what she suggested because I don't like using that term to describe anyone. I prefer to think that the person made a super sized oopsy and somehow we are going to figure it out, even though nothing in the world can ever change the fact that they genuinely value the wellbeing of the other over my wellbeing. Whatever angle you look at it, I simply do not matter.

Anyway, guess what @CheerBear? TTT is going to bring in Charlie and Chocolate Factory and we are going to read a page or two at the start of each session. Don't you think that's super cool? Have you ever met a psychologist like this before, CheerBear? TTT is SUPER cool! I super love that you helped me to discover that reading stories helps to settle big feelings! 

By the way, I really do want to learn to crochet, @CheerBear. Where do I start???