I have just got home from seeing TTT. Hey @CheerBear, I have to do something superly duperly tricky on Tuesday. TTT said that between now and then I have to read over the distress tolerance module of the DBT manual. I told her I couldn't possibly do that because I haven't quite finished the mindfulness module yet and the DT module is CheerBear's module. She responded by saying that in that case, CheerBear's homework is to read the DT module before next Tuesday. 

TTT had a new toy - a slinky! How fun are slinkies!!! I managed to both tangle it and untangle it during the session. 

We talked a lot about the super giant wrongness of the wrong and how a lot of organisations that say they are trauma informed do an amazingly bad job of implementing trauma informed practice. TTT said that "trauma informed" is such a catch-phrase at the moment that it gets tossed around without people really understanding what it means or how to do trauma informed practice. That definitely fits with a whole lot of my experiences!!! 

We also talked about something that is making me feel a bit sad. TTT said that I seem to be super good at the rupture and repair thing (I.e. being able to move through an issue in a relationship and end up still feeling ok in the relationship). I responded by telling her that I agree...but that I have had very very little opportunity to experience it because the other person in a relationship ends up dumping me. I can't think of a single relationship where I have been the one to end it. It's always the other person who says they can't cope with me and then bails out. 

At the moment, I tell TTT via email about what I did/didn't find helpful in a session. She was saying today that it would be better if I could tell her in the moment, but that she understands that this is too scary right now because of all the icky experiences I've had in response to telling a therapist that I want/need them to do something differently. So email will have to do for now.

I am so so SO grateful for TTT. She is very much my island of safety right now in what seems to be a superly duperly confusing and scary world. 

Ps. TTT agreed with me that my pancake and chocolate sauce effort was definitely the sort of thing an Oompa Loompa would eat for breakfast.