Hello,

After what seemed like a perfect and very healthy relationship my ex discarded me with no opportunity to speak or discuss. 

We had an extremely close and loving relationship where we were open with our feelings and felt extremely safe. Then I got severe covid. I had delirium for a few days and would send her loving messages but did not directly respond to some of her messages to me. After 2 days she sent me a very long text saying I had triggered and made her feel invalidated and abandoned because of this, and she turned all of the positive things I would encourage like unpacking a disagreement and figuring out how we can both work together to build healthy ways to prevent it getting too intense. I have ADHD and she would send messages that were many paragraphs long, and before I could respond fully she would send another large wall of text and spiral - I found this overwhelming and needed to process and wanted to work on a way we could both manage our needs in these moments in a healthy way. She would apologise and I'd assure her there was no reason to and this was just a normal communication challenge that we can work on together.

Back to the point, this was one of her main points when she discarded me saying that I was blame shifting and gaslighting, any other positive healthy thing I was doing was toxic, and refused to speak about it because I would just 'manipulate her back'. My therapist with more context thinks it sounds like a 'splitting' episode. 

I'm not contact with my ex at her request, its been about a week and a half and I'm really struggling with this and the mental drain due to the long covid. I keep spiralling and wishing she'd see the real me again, and I'm just completely lost. Has anyone got any advice?