12-12-2017 08:29 AM
12-12-2017 08:29 AM
12-12-2017 06:25 PM - edited 12-12-2017 06:33 PM
12-12-2017 06:25 PM - edited 12-12-2017 06:33 PM
Dear @dands26
you sound like me....When you have 5 minutes for yourself......you realise your about to burn out.....it's so unfair because no matter what I do now a days.....I bun out easily after caring for my son for so many years and not knowing what burn out is and now, I need to take so many breaks so I can get through......
It's almost like:
I havent recovered from major burn out and I will never recover........
The thing I worked out gets me through is going out with my support worker twice a week and meditate.......
Great song I copied......
12-12-2017 06:37 PM
12-12-2017 06:37 PM
Thank you @PeppiPatty
its hard at the moment, the only time i feel at ease is on the days where he is somewhat okay!
12-12-2017 06:40 PM
13-12-2017 01:09 AM
13-12-2017 01:09 AM
13-12-2017 05:26 PM
13-12-2017 05:26 PM
@dands26 hope things are ok for you this afternoon,
I have read Gary Chapmans book and would highly recommend it. My darling and I were supposed to work through it together a while ago, she was keen to point out what I needed to do but not much interested in my needs (by my perception).
My 'language' is physical touch closely followed by words of affirmation. At the moment all I am getting is 'dont touch me' , 'why are you looking at me' and being told how useless and angry I am 😞 she is not well but it still stings.
My darlings languages are recieving gifts and acts of service. I used to be good at this (well at least I tried to do the best I could), defiantly an area of improvement for me at the moment.
Another book I would highly reccomend is 'his needs, her needs' cant remember the author, I will try and find it and add a link. Both books were recommended by a couple who are retired marriage councillors. They used to work as a team,
Trust things work out for you.
13-12-2017 05:42 PM
13-12-2017 05:42 PM
13-12-2017 06:05 PM
13-12-2017 06:05 PM
Doing ok here at the moment @dands26, big night here on Monday, took one of our children to hospital ed late evening with pain and ended up with rather fast ambulance ride to larger hospital out of town to see a specialist. Lack of sleep is catching up.
I have been watching your story since you arrived and wanted to say somthing but have been less than objective as things are a little shaky for my wife and I. MI is a big part of our lives as she lives with borderline personality disorder, we have just come through a difficult year with lots of time in hospital. I am hanging on tight for our children particually at the moment. My darling would like ond of us to move out but I have managed to stall that for the moment.
I really hope for you both that by revisiting each others languages that things can work out for you. The 'his needs her needs book' i mentioned was also a good read if you are interested, I will try and find it and add details.
Reading your post has motivated me to read both books again and try harder for my darling, easy (for me) to use burnout and lack of finances (currently jobless due to burnout) but I need to choose to rise above that and do what I can with no expectations for anything in return (thats the hard part for me)
So thank you for your post.
13-12-2017 06:52 PM
13-12-2017 06:52 PM
13-12-2017 07:12 PM
13-12-2017 07:12 PM
It can be really hard to work out which is the mi and which is the person ..... where one finishes and the other begins .... but the person is not their mi, even if it has control of them in the moment, or often. That is our biggest challenge as carers - to love them in spite of that challenge, and setting boundaries on the mi is critical to that ..... not allowing their mi to invade us as well.
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