A new start (kind of)

[MDT]

Pretty much @TAB

[TAB]

Well no stress then hopefully @MDT  just watcjing cricket here Heat got like 110 ok 115 off 7 overs @Zoe7 

[MDT]

Hi forumites @Zoe7 @TAB @Appleblossom @Shaz51 @outlander

I don't want to tag many because I feel like i keep bothering.

I went and got a coffee and a copy of The Weekend Australian paper. I felt like a failure when I got my coffee because they were asking me when I was going overseas. I know it's not from a bad place when they ask it, but it just gets at me. Does this make sense?

I feel a bit pathetic tbh but perhaps this is inevitable when dealing with all this.

I am thinking of going to a meetup tonight but I'm not sure if i can face people. Perhaps this is pride or shame? I am unsure.

[TAB]

sounds familiar @MDT  except substitute jobs/work for trip. 

starts off sounding like the thing that's going to fix everything

then as it gets closer feels completely unbearable

Now dreading seeing people from work, but it is what it is

Anyway. They care enough to ask.

You are out and about. 

No point in trapping yourself with your thinking ie couple days ago thought of going away wa unbearable, now you are a failure somehow?

just have a smile to yourself maybe, and if you have to, just have a quick throw away answer about trip, say change of plans or something and walk away    

[MDT]

True @TAB
The power of distributional speech (aka diverting attention away from one thing to another)

[TAB]

just act distracted and move away physically . hard to talk to someone whos walking away @MDT  depends how far you want to go with it. Anyway. So. Problem solved re stressors. that's good. I've got to get moving here. trying to work out easiest cheapest simplest way to get food for 1-2 days, newspapers and some bath salts lol. am still hibernating. going to have to snap out of it soon, ie being a shut in and late night tv etc lol . its becoming very comfortable in my own little world tho lol 

[Sam3]

Hey @TAB & @MDT & others passing through. Firstly @MDT can I just say I like your other positive thread with music & poems - it was great to revisit Nakho Bear & I have added him to my playlist. Strangely that thread isn’t being used by many recently! Your response to the overseas comment is completely understandable & I agree with @TAB . A throwaway line or “its something I’ve re-scheduled for  later on”. It might help to re-read your thread after you made the decision to remind yourself of how sound it is. Has your dad spoken with you? 

[MDT]

Not really @Sam3 but i imagine we will soon

IF not then so be it. Mum told me he is okay with it. But in the end it isn't his decision so it's not like it matters overly much.

[BryanaCamp]

Hey @MDT well done on getting out & about today (I generally avoid that if I'm not feeling so good due to anxiety).

How did your appts with psych and psych go yesterday? Hope it was really helpful 

You've just made a huge decision to look after your well-being and are tackling something very difficult that not all people understand - MI- so don't ever think you're a failure, you're a great success and very brave. Some of my family don't get my MI and I don't really have a solution to that, it's hard, like a dead end that won't budge.

I'm going to a Meetup next weekend, but I could fully understand if you feel too vulnerable to go be extroverted with a bunch of new people with all those "so what do you do?" questions. Self-care is important.

I'm off to lunch with some friends today & my goal is to try not to be too emotional - that happens sometimes when I'm fond of friends!!

take care for now 

[MDT]

thanks @BryanaCamp
You are right - it can lead to you feeling pretty crap
I'm tempted to give it a miss. My family are going out for dinner but I don't even feel like that either.
I'm safe atm and this is all that matters. I plan on going to the gym tomorrow morning with a friend so it's not as if i am going to become a total shut in. Not yet anyway

I hope you enjoyed your lunch out.