Am Not Coping

[Zoe7]

You're not sorry really @utopia lol 

They were definitely both happy tears and a little built up anxiety at the same time. 

Yes Cat is very naughty - I was so looking forward to my roast chicken with heaps of vegies and gravy. It really isn't the same with just vegies and gravy lol

Toby is a Maltese Shih Tzu cross - they need alot of looking after - he gets brushed neary every day and his hair grows quite fast so he has a 'haircut' at least once a month. He usually needs a trim around his eyes a little more often than that though.

My sleep does seem to be heading in a better direction - the tough days and nights are still really hard but I think I am doing a little better at 'riding them out' - not easy still but getting there.

You sound a little more positive too - onwards and upwards my beautiful friend 

[Zoe7]

Hi @Shaz51 @Former-Member  How are you both doing tonight?

[Shaz51]

tired  and coughing and sneeing today @Zoe7 my sister

went to work but tired now xx

how has your day been

[Zoe7]

oh @Shaz51 that is no good my sister  Do you have a cold or allergies?

You make sure you get lots of rest tonight - look after yourself xxx

I am ok. It has been a long day - psych appointment this morning, a little shopping and a bit flat and 'lost' when I got home. I am just letting the day and night unfold as it happens for now.

Zoe

[Shaz51]

think it is  a cold my sister @Zoe7 xx

psych appointment this morning, -- how did it go my sister xx

[Zoe7]

Oh bugger @Shaz51 a cold! You have had a bad run lately my sister - I hope it goes away quickly 

The appointment went quite well. We are sticking with the meds (types, quantities, times) for now. They seem to be making a difference - even small improvements are good at this stage.

She wants me to go back to my psychologist to 'touch base' but not to do any 'therapy'. Then she wants to try and get herself, my psychologist and GP to come together (most likely by phone conference if it can be arranged) to discuss a plan moving forward.

She does not expect me to 'get better' for quite some time. As she said - I have been very unwell for a very long time and I am not well enough atm to even consider going back into 'therapy' and until I can reach that place there is no chance of going back to work. We also talked a little about my cognition, SI and sleep.

[Shaz51]

Me toooooo my sister @Zoe7 xx

even small improvements are good at this stage., this is good my sister

my hubby has had problems all his life and he is a lot better then he was years ago , so small improvements are good

[Former-Member]

Sorry you're health is floundering still @Shaz51, must be exhausting 😞 Just do the best you can, thats all you can do ❤❤❤.

Hi @Zoe7, thanks for the callout, you seem to be having a ealthy balance of acceptance going on there, and self care wtg! I am actually pretty good lately thanks. Being with good family on the w'end helped. And i went to my support group yesterday.

Did get a Mount of dishes & washing done today.

Had some erands to run but couldnt get out the door, got anxious. will - try again tomorrow.

My little bro with Sz rang last night with disturbing things to say. Hes still unwell despite the heavy antipsychotic and their comorbidity. All that's changed is that he's not so upset nowdays - the delusions are still there, and he's talking about dying again. I've been dwelling on it all day, worries me, nothing more I can do without putting my own MH more at risk.

But I did have an old friend ring me which was nice.

Do you have supportive family Zoe? (sorry, can't remember), or any close friends?

[Zoe7]

@STORMGRL101

[Zoe7]

@Former-Member I managed to get most of the washing up done tonight myself - yea!!

it sucks that you couldn't get out the door today. I have those days too when I just don't want to leave the house - I am getting better but sometimes it is just to get to appointments and that is all I can handle.

I am sorry about your little bro  It is a really tough situation for you but you are right about looking after yourself first - otherwise you cannot help anyone else.

My family situation is a bit tricky as they don't know about my MI or my trauma etc. Basically they are completely unaware of what I have been through and what is happening now. It is a very long story as to why and I'm sure you don't need to be bothered with that.

As for friends - there really isn't anyone. The only 'friends' I have don't live anywhere near me and/or do not know what is happening for me either. Most of the friendships I have started to develop over the years I have 'backed away' from to protect myself. So when I so I am all alone with this - I really am except for my GP support.