Am Not Coping

[utopia]

@Zoe7. The winner of the Cow Pat Lotto was drawn out of a hat. I don't blame the cow. I don't know about you - but I couldn't poo if a few hundred people were watching me!.
And no, we weren't the winners.
@Phoenix_Rising. I understand what you mean. Just because we have good days or know how our body/mind works and techniques - doesn't mean that we always get it right - or that there are not struggles.
What an absolute bugger that you went to a place you thought waa safe - & they didn't support your need to manage it. Thank God the ambo recognized it.
But it does suck when we are let down.
@Zoe7. 2 family visits in 2 days. Wow. Is this normal? You managed well on both occasions. And it's great that you managed a sleep today. I slept also.

[Zoe7]

@utopia Bugger - I was hoping for a virtual loan!!!! lol  I feel for the poor cow too - would definitely have had 'performance anxiety' - maybe material here for another t-shirt!!!!!

No two visits in two days is definitely not normal.  My sister does come around every few weeks with her dog and we do go to the beach with our babies together occasionally but it's usually in nice weather so we can go outside. I feel a bit 'closed in' if we are inside together!

@Phoenix_Rising My sleep is a real issue. Usually 3 or 4 hours is the maximum so 6 hours is great.

My issues around darkness and sleep are really complicated and not easy to explain - especially when it is starting to get dark now and I don't want to think about it. Hope you understand 

There is only some bits of 'my story' on here anyway @Phoenix_Rising There is really very few specific details - more generalisations. Sometimes you don't have to know toomuch to be able to relate to someone. 

@utopia and I have had one similar experience and we seemed to connect really well on this thread because of that. We also both tend to write copious amounts at times and that is definitely where you fit in well 

@Faith-and-Hope also keeps me going with both her stories and 'words of wisdom' - especially late at night when I am really struggling. 

Both @utopia and @Faith-and-Hope have been real life savers for me over the last few weeks when I have been in a really bad place. Could not have got through it without them - and I am not over exaggerating - I would not still be here without them 

[utopia]

@Zoe7. I don't know about you - but I write copious amounts - if dribble. Lol
Another slogan for a t-shirt. We will never run out of ideas.
I'm going to call it an early night. Not feeling the best. Just a bit flat. So might be time for me to act on my own advice and take time out to breathe. I'm ok. Just have to get in there - before anything escalates. Prevention is better than cure.
So I'm going to practice some self love& veg out with some relaxation music.
Have a good night my friend. I'll talk to you tomorrow. ♥♥

[Zoe7]

@utopia Look after yourself my friend. I'm also going to try and have an early night - feeling a bit the same! Relax, chill out and lots of self love 

Talk tomorrow

Zoe xxx

[Phoenix_Rising]

@Zoe7 No problem at all. If there is one thing I understand, it is the idea that stories can be complex! I hope you get another good 6 hours (or more!) sleep tonight. I am heading off to bed myself now. It bugs me that I can feel so sleepy after doing so much of pretty much nothing all day. Oh well, it is what it is. I hope you have a peaceful night

[Zoe7]

@Phoenix_Rising nite nite. sweet dreams 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi guys ....

I have some wifi issues here at the mo ....

Will take me a little while to read and respond to posts today ....

Got yours about F&A thread @Zoe7, and will prioritise it ... think it has become a distraction zone for others too, which I am chuffed about .... 😊💕

Night Shift was like that for me last year, with others helping me to pull through tough zones.

[Zoe7]

Hi again @Faith-and-Hope

I'm not doing so well at the moment but I am starting to get sleepy. Going to lie down and hope to sleep really quickly. It's getting really windy here and that is just adding to my negative thoughts - wind is definitely one of my triggers - always has been!!!! When it's dark AND windy - really tough place to be in my head! Trying really hard to just stay here until I start to feel sleep coming - that way I won't think too much whille on my own.

Hope you don't mind me just rambling here for a bit while I am waiting to sleep - just makes me feel a bit less alone!

Hope your wifi issues are fixed soon. More stories and/or photos would be great. Might read over some on F&A again now to try to distract me for now! 

[Former-Member]

@Zoe7, can you close the house up and put soft music, radio talkback on? to muffle wind sounds outside? I find my ceiling fan muffles a lot of noises. Also, a banana & coco is nice supper / nightcap for sleep. I also benefit from magnesium supliments.
Hope you do sleep well, night xox

[Appleblossom]

Hi @Zoe7

Hope you have managed to secure your sanctuary .. whether playing music .. or reading .. or in bed .. with all of the above.

I am also trying to stay off the forum a bit .. and focus on activities in life.

@Phoenix_Rising your explanations are detailed and clear 

I managed to regulate like you described ..you dont know who will benefit .. 

in fact I was taught to do that  .. in primal therapy .. and managed it that way for a long time .. I suspect it stopped me going into completely delusional and psychotic states ... I see it as regulating and taking responsiblity ...

body therapies were more prevalent ... not in fashion these days ..

sorry the centre was not up to it ..