Am Not Coping

[Shaz51]

Enjoy your walk with your Dad on the beach @Faith-and-Hope It is nice that D1 and SIL went with you 

@Eden1919, good morning , I loveee your profile picture

Helllooooo my sister @Zoe7, how are you this morning

We are still in our pj`s , mr shaz is coughing and not well now , and he has given it back too me , done nothing , had a cup of coffee

[Zoe7]

Hiya again @Shaz51  I am still in my jammies as well - don't want to get dressed today - but didn't yesterday so I probably should. I will need to go out at some stage today - I don't have anything left in the house to eat - not that I really care but I do need to have something small at least. I did finally have about 2 hours sleep this morning so I am still exhausted but 2 hours is better than nothing at this stage. My throat is still sore and my voice is very croaky and that is adding to how I am feeling - it is a vicious cycle - I can't sleep so get really run down, then I get sick and can't do anything at all and that deepens my depression and the more depressed I get the more I can't sleep - and the cycle continues.

[Shaz51]

take care my sister @Zoe7 

sitting with you , would you like a cuppa xx

[CheerBear]

Hey lovely neighbour @Zoe7@. I was excited because I noticed you online and chatting to others at the same time as me for a change and thought I might get to sneak in a real time hello for a change. But then noticed a bit of a hiccup and it looks like you're out again.

So if it's ok, I'll sit here scooping some gelato from the tub in a sunny spot next to a vase of beautiful flowers. It kind of looks a bit like this. The freezer is hiding in a secret door behind that picture (pretty cool!). I'm going to make a big blanket to go over the lounge to sit under because I think it will be more cosy here with one.

I'll leave you a note on the table to let you know I have visited and am thinking of you. Take care Zoe 💗 

[Former-Member]

Hi @Zoe7 

Im so glad you are still hanging in here even though it's the last thing you want to do. There is always hope you'll find joy and a life without the intense fear and such extreme sadness again. 

Just dropping off some flowers for you.

Im going a little better at the moment. I had a huge crash on Wednesday that saw me right on the edge and needing lots of support to get through but I'm ok at the moment. I'm even going out today with my mum 😯. I check in on you still everyday and hope that breathing has been a little less painful for you each day. Thinking of you 💜💐🤗

[Faith-and-Hope]

🤗💐💕💜🤗💐💕💜🤗💐💕💜🤗

@Zoe7 @Shaz51 @CheerBear @Former-Member .....

[Pepsimax]

@Zoe7 how are you doing now thinking of you

[Former-Member]

Hugs @Zoe7 just sitting here with you as well xx

[Zoe7]

Nothing has changed @Pepsimax - but thankyou for thinking of me 

@Former-Member I have a feeling that you are not doing too well either - you are definitely in my thoughts and I truly hope that you can find a way through your own darkness and into the light soon. Love snd hugs...

Zoe 

[Zoe7]

To everyone...

I am unable to follow or respond to most people at the moment - so if I do not post please do not take it persoanlly - I just do not have the energy or am in the right headspace to even think clearly.

Added to my already 'rock bottom' mood is my lack of sleep, sore throat and losing my voice - it feels a bit like physically losing my voice has also translated into me 'mentally' losing my voice. I have little to give and my mind is so confused that I am not sure what tonight, tomorrow or the next day may bring.

I know there are a lot of people sitting with me, holding my hand and supporting me - but I just do not have the energy left to keep up with everyone - or even myself. I am in a very. very dark place and I am using every tiny little bit of strength that I have to stay alive. 

Please do not worry - what will be will be - and while my heart still beats there is still some hope.

Look after yourselves and each other and I hope I can be part of this wonderful community in a more meaningful capacity again one day...

All my love and gratitude to all my 'friends' on here...

Zoe