Forums
Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.
- 47,412Members
- 1,214,889Posts
- 1,400,000Visitors
Why do we feel excess guilt? Guilt can come from poor upbringing or excess reflection on our own actions, too much insight and evaluation of our own actions.
A parent that has the balance wrong with praise, encouragement and criticism can implant a guilty mind into the child. Once grown, a feeling of- never good enough- emerges. This self criticism then causes reflection on our faults and past antics and decisions.
The good thing about guilt is it helps you stop repeating the bad decisions we have made. "I wont drive fast on this dirt road or I could lose control like that time in 1995". Guilt etches experience sin our mind. It's natural to have guilt if you have basic intelligence. Where it serves no productivity is when its excessive. It's like pouring water into an already full bucket, its wasted and causes mud around you that is problematic. You spend your life finding ways to avoid muddy feet rather than watering the dry plants with that bucket of water.
Worry is just as bad. Worry in totally non productive. Unless of course you are worrying about arriving late for an appointment and you run to make up time. Otherwise, worry produces ulcers. Parents worry about their 18yo daughter/son going to a nightclub, they sit in front of a TV that reports crimes at those venues and imagine their child being the victim. Little might they know their child had decided not to go to the venue but instead accompanied several friends to a new Star Wars movie. The next morning their child is laughing at the breakfast table about the show while their parents hair is grey by the minute. It's simply so basic this worry thing that its silly worrying at all. One can be a caring parent and not worry. This proper perspective is life enhancing but sometimes we need professional help to right the guilty and worrying ship from its list. Even a little change for the better will allow you to sail better in a more healthy manner.
As I've said many times before it isnt easy stopping these things. We have to introduce distraction. Activities like going to the movies ourselves will distract our worry for a few hours, a few hours less stewing over issues that might not be happening.
I'm going out to the garage noiw to clean it up. I can worry about the incident last week of falling off the ladder or feel guilty about not fixing that leaking gutter. Or I can just clean up the garage, put a sign oin the ladder to be careful and fix that leaking gutter if I have the time. I'll put on some music too. It's a choice, I have the power to get things into their priorities and not worry so much. Worry and guilt or wisdom and fun?
WK
My favourites
Members feature!Log in to add spaces, events and discussions to your favourites.
Guidelines and technical support
Crisis support
SANE services are not designed for crisis support. If you require immediate support, please contact one of the service providers below.