Let's do Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)

[Appleblossom]

Its so good to share a laugh @Teej @Catcakes

I have been lucky to see the young ones can be truly gorgeous on the inside.

[Catcakes]

I adore the young ones @Appleblossom, @Teej
My kids are 18, 20, 22, 25, 27.
I loved it when they were all teenagers.
We only have two at home now.
Just gave S3 a lesson in white sauce making for cauliflower cheese.

[Phoenix_Rising]

Hi all,

I am super enjoying reading everyone's thoughts here. I am a bit too sleepy to respond now, but I will sometime in the next day or two. 

@Catcakes I just wanted to let you know that your response was fine. I totally hear you about platitudes - they annoy the hell out of me too! I'm sorry that my comment felt like a platitude to you, I definitely know how yuck that can feel. 

I will return to this thread when I am more awake. 

[Former-Member]

I have been giving thought as to when to make
stand vs accept and have listened to some talks about this.

The decision as to whether or not to make a stand also causes me internal conflict @Phoenix_Rising as I would naturally want to make a stand as a result of feeling hurt and resentment rather than wanting to do what is right for the greater good. I need to examine my motivation.

I feel it is important to learn what is worth fighting for, indeed having things to fight for keeps us going. Things that are of value and worthy of conflict for me include health, relationships and hope over despair; these do not come naturally to me.

I have mentioned internal battles but there are also external battles and dealing with these is somewhat different. Conflict resolution can come at personal expense and we need to ask ourselves if we are prepared to pay this price.

By following some ground rules successful negotiations can occur with good outcomes for all concerned, this often involves humility, respect, listening and persistence, focussing on the problem and not the person.

When choosing to raise an issue, we have no control over the response of the other party or their willingness to resolve the differences we have.

Taking a stand takes courage and persistence, but in doing so we can often achieve results that go beyond ourselves and benefit others.

[Winterz]

I responded before but not sure it worked, so will try again.
Maybe I shouldn't have used the term 'almost opposite as a way of expressing my point. It seems I over emphasised myself and created a big reaction lol. My point still iis though that gardless of origins , CBT and DBT teach different ways of thinking or dealing with a situation.
When you study Social Science , specialising in Counselling , you are taught various different methodologies in order to decide what to specialise in. CBT is a very popular form of Counselling and as I am sure you know, it focuses on changing perceptions, reality testing etc. Where as DBT, OFTEN FAVOURED BY BPD specialists, focuses more on accepting the situation as the reality, for example. These can be very different ways of dealing with a situation.

[Winterz]

Absolutely yes. DBT changed my life in many ways. I don't have enough good things to say about it.
Practising the skills is an ongoing process of course.

[Appleblossom]

That is a very empowering point about DBT.

Accepting the situation as the reality surrounding a person, rather than CBT changing thinking which implies that the thinking is wrong.

and knowing which skills to practise when.

If it had been around to help my brother ... 

It helps me at the moment to have a person who is walking with me. Not too much pressure to gain new skills, but just be me.

[Catcakes]

I never did answer your question last night @Appleblossom
But no I’m not still doing DBT.
The psychologist I was with has moved her practise a fair way away and so I completed one full round of modules. I would have liked to do the course again but it wasn’t offered.
The psychologist I am seeing now is very skilled in DBT but because over the past year I have lurched and stumbled from one crisis to another, the sessions are more debriefing/supportive type therapy.

[Winterz]

@Catcakes I am unsure why you feel the need to put that in inverted commas by the way. If you disbelieve me or disagree with me there are nicer ways to go about it.
Perhaps you will find the areas that focuses on interpersonal skills most beneficial? Lol

[Winterz]

Sorry it didn't help him.