Riding a wave

[Phoenix_Rising]

@CheerBear @Catcakes I emailed TTT but she doesn't have any appointments available. I'm not due to see her until next Thursday. WHAT DO I DO???? How does anyone live with the objective reality that they do not matter? They made a choice. They chose the other. No amount of reframing in the world can change that!!!!! I do not matter. Anybody can do anything to me and their wellbeing will still come first. 

[CheerBear]

I hear you, I really do @Phoenix_Rising. I am so sorry that the choice doesn't reflect that all people have equal worth. That's very wrong 😞 I

You matter so very much.

[CheerBear]

@Phoenix_Rising you do whatever it is you need to do and have done in the past to get through, like the other times days away has felt like weeks away. We count down again, like we've done many times before. You try and remember that there are people who believe you matter. And you ride the waves like you do so well.

You matter. I'm so sorry that the message you get often is different to that.

[Catcakes]

You certainly DO MATTER @Phoenix_Rising.
You matter a lot and in ForumLand that is very important, no less important than real world. I hope you can agree with me 😔
It’s not a nice feeling that you don’t matter, I know.... I hear your pain.
But you matter a lot ❤️

[Former-Member]

I really hear that you feel you do not matter @Phoenix_Rising.

I want you to try and hear me, @CheerBear and @Catcakes when we say you do matter. We all matter. This is a massive wave right now @Phoenix_Rising but it will pass in time. Is there somewhere you feel you would be best supported in the ocean right now? How do you feel about riding some inflatables @CheerBear with @Phoenix_Rising in your pocket? Just a suggestion 🙂

[Phoenix_Rising]

@CheerBear Why can you understand so well without knowing and "the professionals" cannot understand despite knowing. I need help CheerBear and there is no one. I so very very very badly wish you were on the end of the telephone. 

[Former-Member]

You matter to me, @Phoenix_Rising, but I really do hear you. 

[Phoenix_Rising]

@Former-Member I know I matter a bit, BUT THE OTHER MATTERS MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There was a choice. One choice would be better for my wellbeing and the other choice would be better for the one who caused harm to me, and THEY CHOSE TO SUPPORT THE ONE WHO CAUSED HARM. No amount of reframing in the world can change that!!!!!!!

I do not matter,

I'm only one person,

Destroy me completely,

Then throw me away.

[Zoe7]

@Phoenix_Rising I have nothing for you but to tell you I am hearing you 

[CheerBear]

I badly wish we could speak in person and that I was there there @Phoenix_Rising. I have spoken with you so many times in my head, and they're some of the most helpful conversations I've had. I really do believe you understand me and know without needing to know. I hope you can feel that with me also because I am with you, without needing to know exactly why I am.

People are here with you and it's not the same and I wish we could speak beyond here often. This is definitely one of those times.

We're here with you, and I'm right there with you too, even when I am not.