Good morning @soul. Thank you for dropping by the ocean this morning. I am very much looking forward to seeing M. Not long to go now. I can do this. I seem to be completely drenched in sweat at the moment even though I am sitting outside on a chilly morning, so I'm taking that as a sign that there is a lot going on in my brain.
I have already been an eagle this morning. I actually seem to be getting less wobbly with each attempt so I have hopes of being a nice stable eagle by the end of the week (stable in my legs at least, brains seem to take annoyingly longer to make stable!!). 
@-karma- I super love the picture that you posted. I woke up around 3am feeling all in a muddle and your picture super helped. I will often fall asleep before the moderator checks in, but it always super helps when I awaken later and see that you've been there. Thank you.
Good morning to anyone out on the ocean today. I am feeling much better after seeing M. She really is a turtle whisperer!!! We managed to unmuddle the muddle of yesterday and we now have a plan forward on that. I'm still super gigantically struggling with the fear of M disappearing out of my world though. Realistically I'm not sure that there is an answer to this fear because it isn't exactly an irrational fear. If M gets squished by a bus, I'm going to get thrown right back into the turmoil of the past two years. I really don't know how to sit with that.
Anyway, at least the gigantic storm of yesterday has passed. The turtle lives to surf another wave. Look at me @Former-Member @Former-Member @Former-Member, I discovered for the five hundred billionth time that the big feelings pass!!!! Good job me. By the way, don't forget to be an eagle today. You want an office full of baby goats don't you! 
I super love the baby goat @soul. Methinks I'm going to be dreaming of baby goats tonight!
Good night Forum Land. @Former-Member who is watching the ocean tonight? Thank you for being there.
I got super smashed by a gigantic wave a few hours ago and I don't know how to keep swimming right now. I can't tell you what the wave was, but I can tell you that I am flooded with a bazillion bad memories and gigantic feelings of shame and self-hatred. The ocean went from super calm to raging storm in the space of about three seconds. Keeping on keeping on is super super super hard sometimes. @Former-Member @Former-Member @Former-Member will you ride the gigantic wave with me???
