Am Not Coping

[Faith-and-Hope]

@Zoe7 .... in that heightened state you are also far, far more prone to word-to-emotional or visual recall triggers, which is what @utopia just described as having caught her at times in convo with you .... the spiral is causing hyper-vigilance in conversation.

Hope this helps too .... there might be an AD specific to dealing with this effect, I don't know.

💜

[utopia]

@Zoe7. People / crowds at your beach. Night. Dark. Nightmares.
Our triggers are hard to deal with. Our brain has become so used to a particular wird or image - being a negative or scary experience. That's why we need to re-wire our brains. Slowly. One step at a time.
As important as knowing what yiur triggers are. I think you also need wirds or images etc, that bring you relief. Where yiu can feel calm. Because then the brain will work at recognising these things as being positive.
I use visualization. I have my 'safe place' - some call it. I call it 'my country'. There is always a Creek. Always green grass. Always the smell of eucalyptus. Always animals - friendly. And every time I smell eucalyptus - I instantly feel relaxed. When I hear cockies - I feel at home. Whereas - cockies screeching might be annoying for some.
so try and also work out what your relaxation / calming smells words sights etc might be.

[Zoe7]

@utopia I was just replying to @Faith-and-Hope and didn't see your post - sorry.

That's exactly what I'm looking for. From your point of view there doesn't seem to be a gradual slide it is just an instant crash. That is exactly what I want to work out. If there was a series of events or words or things that I write that you could see was changing then it may be easier to identify when I was struggling. But if it seems that I go from ok to not ok that quickly then that is something I need to work out why?

I really don't think it is anything you do at all - or write. I think it is more that ANYTHING that can be even remotely triggering is when I am really so physically and mentally exhausted. 

Not sure! I'm in a pretty good place at the moment so can try and work out some of this if that is ok with you?!

[Faith-and-Hope]

Have to dash out ... back in a bit ....

[Zoe7]

@utopia I have just been going back over some of our conversations and I really can't identify anything you have written that may have triggered me. I can see in places though where it seems like we have been having a very normal discussion and then suddenly my mood changes. I am so sorry - that must be really frustrating for you -especially when you don't know why - it's frustrating fo me now because I don't know why. Must be external to the forum - or from another thread???? Not sure!

[utopia]

It doesn't bother me @Zoe7. It is what it is. But if there are particular words or topics - I'm happy to avoid them.
And yes - to me it seems that nothing has happened between chatting & your fears. But then, I understand that.
I can be having a good day and then - for example - my old friend will pop into my head - & then - my brain is fixated on whys & what did I do - or that negative doubt and fears.
It just seems to happen. And sometimes I realise a few hrs have passed & I've been obsessing over this. Then I have to forcibly - sometimes - make myself stop and push these thoughts out of my brain. Otherwise - I will become overraught

[Faith-and-Hope]

I found this for you @Zoe7 .... re your earlier comment ....

I am sure Phoenix won't mind me mentioning it, cos it's clear on her thread anyway, but she was apologising to someone a couple of days ago for exactly the same thing happening with her @Zoe7 ..... a sudden hyper-sensitivity - but she knows this happens for her, went into melt-down, recovered, then came back to apologise to the person she had caught off-guard.  She may have some strategies that can help you to recognise this and address it.

I think that is an excellent observation @utopia .... using the same sort of tracks that a trigger follows to "anti-trigger" with thoughts, words, and visualisations ....

[Zoe7]

@utopia yep I do get that. One tiny little thing or thought or image etc. can turn into a sudden and overwhelming negative reaction. I do know when I am not physically well I can't cope emotionally - and when I am really tired it is worse. I have been trying to avoid tv and music this week as there always seems to be something that triggers a negative reaction. There are certain words that are huge triggers for me - in any situation and in circumstance- none of which you have used - but maybe when in my hyper-vigilant state I make connections in my mind to those!

[Appleblossom]

Lotus flowers

 flourish in the mud.

I love your chatter.  @utopia @Zoe7 

and glad @Phoenix_Rising joined in and we got over my

 foot in mouth post a few days ago

 need to figure out when its gentleigh bentleigh or

wheeeee down the water slide

cheers Apple

[Faith-and-Hope]

❤️ ya @Appleblossom .....

Hugzzzzzz ❣