I feel...

[Queenie]

Usually if someone tells to me stop when I am in a fit of rage, I am more than likely to mouth off at them. Afterwards, I always feel very foolish for having such a fit. The last time it happened, I was yellng in my sleep at my bed. I don't even remember what was said and apparently it was over very quickly, but my Mrs said it was kind of scary because I seemed so angry. Before then it was when my printer refused to work despite nothing being wrong with it. 

Usually if it is anger related to something I am doing going wrong or not working, I have to see it through until it does work. I usually refuse outside assistance too which makes me a tad stubborn really. I guess it comes down to me being a bit of a perfectionist.

I just realised you've put STOP in capital letters. Does this mean someone shouting stop at me or does it stand for something (like an acronym?)

[outlander]

ok im glad your able to recognise these @Queenie

STOP literally means STOP. stop what your doing. stop everything, take a few deep breaths and either carry on or use a coping strategy to diffuse then go abck to what you were doing/saying. 

some use a stop sign to remind them to just stop and breathe. it can help clear your mind too and works for anxiety as well.

something i find useful for anger esp when it bubbles over to more violent stuff (ive thrown plates and cups) is to have some already rolled up socks in a ball- kinda make it hard to itll make a thud sound- pick them up and throw them at the wall or at the floor. it releases that anger but in a healthy way. 

do you think either of those would help you?

[Queenie]

I usually throw stress balls or scrunched up paper @outlander. Having someone tell me it is okay to throw something soft would actually help, as would stop and being reminded to take a breath and refocus. Maybe even showing me a red card or a stop sign would help a lot. 

Sometimes my anxiety runs away with itself so having someone say STOP would probably work actually.

[outlander]

ok, so i think for you it would be those reminders to just stop am i right? 

@Queenie 

Perhaps you could make up a 'stop' sign card and have it in your coping tool box, or on your fridge so your mrs can show it to you as well? 

thoughts on these ones? 

[outlander]

@Queeniethe way i try to make my coping plan is running off my emotions and trying to work out which strategies work best for each of them. for example- when im suicidal i go to my safety plan, when im angry i use STOP and the sock throwing as well as walking/removing myself from the situation, etc.. etc... 

also identifying triggers for these emotions and using these 'plans' help me to cope ahead of time as well

thought id explain that a little bit so you know where we are headed-and make sure your still ok with it

[Zoe7]

@Queenie @outlander Hi to you both.

 You can use STOP as an acronym for Stop-Take a step back-Observe-Proceed

The first step is to:

Stop what you are doing,

Take a step back either physically or mentally and take a deep breath,

Observe what is going on inside and outside of you - thoughts, feelings, the situation etc.,

Proceed mindfully - act with awareness of how you are feeling, what the situation actually is, what action should be taken when you are calm to make that decision...

Hope that helps a little here 

[outlander]

thank you! @Zoe7 yes that does help!

[Queenie]

I've googled stop signs and have chosen this one which I will print tomorrow when I am home alone @outlander.

I think if my Mrs was to notice things escalating, she could show me this sign which I'll keep next to my resource box (it has coping cards, sensory objects, traffic light post it notes). 

I really appreciate you helping me out with this @outlander!

[outlander]

@Queeniethe way @Zoe7 described STOP is brilliant! i think it would help you out too and a better understanding of it as well. 

im just waiting on the pic now, but am glad this is helping you 🙂

[outlander]

wow good job @Jupiter  working fast at approving pics tonight!

i think thats a great sign @Queenie very simple