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18 Apr 2025 08:04 AM
18 Apr 2025 08:04 AM
@Dreamy Not very good. Have been crying so much since yesterday afternoon and I couldn’t even sleep within the first few hours at night.
My mum wanted to introduce me to a guy (an immigrant and is from our ethnic background) that she wants me to be with because she wants me to have someone I can be with for the rest of my life, which was why I had to file an IVO because she’s done this to me before, hence her continuing to tell me that I need to be with someone and that I can’t be alone forever….so what she did to me yesterday through the chat messenger was my breaking point.
18 Apr 2025 08:08 AM
18 Apr 2025 08:08 AM
@Blackcloud oh sweet, I'm so sorry to hear what your mother did to you yesterday. It's understandable that you would have been upset and struggling to sleep after everything.
Have you got much on today or are you able to rest and practice some self care?
Sending you hugs and know that I'm here for you ❤️
18 Apr 2025 08:13 AM - edited 18 Apr 2025 08:22 AM
18 Apr 2025 08:13 AM - edited 18 Apr 2025 08:22 AM
@Dreamy Part of me also lowkey thinks that maybe I can or should give it a try to meet him..my mum said that he’s the same age as me which is even better. I’m just scared of…well both of us having completely different views and values due to the diffeeent cultures we grew up in. My ethnicity is unfortunately a traditional/patriarchal type culture & also family oriented…
But also part of me is kinda relieved that I’ve already filed an IVO, but I now wished that I should’ve selected the option of allowing the respondent (my mum) to request for her and I to seek mediation/counselling on the application, but I didn’t. The thought about potentially going to court actually scares me and brings up a lot of uneasy feelings
18 Apr 2025 08:21 AM
18 Apr 2025 08:21 AM
@rav3n whenever you’re on, I hope you’ll read this (the post I replied to in this above) since you and I have talked about it a few times before and you understand the issue better ❤️🙏
18 Apr 2025 08:24 AM
18 Apr 2025 08:24 AM
@Dreamy @oh, and about if I have much on today, not really but I think I’m just gonna rest more likely and if possible I might as well work a bit on a uni assignment, but who knows if I’m able to do the latter today.
18 Apr 2025 08:35 AM
18 Apr 2025 08:35 AM
@Blackcloud it's obviously completely up to you if you wanted to meet him and give it a try. But it should be done on your terms and only if you are comfortably doing so.
I imagine there would be very mixed feelings about filing the IVO. Is it possible to maybe speak to them and have that changed to allow your mum to have that option to choose mediation/counselling? I understand the feelings when it comes to having to go to court, I'm in that situation at the moment and it's bringing up so many bad memories from previous traumatic experiences.
18 Apr 2025 08:38 AM
18 Apr 2025 08:38 AM
@Blackcloud resting sounds good and if you are feeling up for it you can look at some of that uni work. It's important to take care of yourself and take time when you need it.
18 Apr 2025 08:40 AM - edited 18 Apr 2025 08:43 AM
18 Apr 2025 08:40 AM - edited 18 Apr 2025 08:43 AM
@Dreamy yeah I 100% agree.
I’ve been spending like the whole evening and even this morning searching up related topics on Google and reddit to look for specific answers because seriously what if that dude was to actually follow along with the traditional gender roles thing as well instead of becoming more westernized if you get what I mean.
I can try ask maybe one of the lawyers from victoria legal aid or youth law Australia about that. Maybe I might ask the staff via live chat on the magistrates court website about it too.
I wish you all the very best, and hopefully something good will come out for you. Sorry youre going through this. ❤️
18 Apr 2025 08:42 AM
18 Apr 2025 08:52 AM
18 Apr 2025 08:52 AM
@Blackcloud yes I get what you mean. There's alot to think about and the uncertainty of everything would be so overwhelming. It's such a hard situation and it's not just as easy as sitting down and asking all these questions so you know where things are at.
That sounds like a good option, maybe it won't have to go to court if your mum is willing to do some mediation/counselling.
Thankyou sweet ❤️
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