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😭

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@Dreamy also I hate how in my ethnic culture, being able to live a “good life” or stable life is a huge deal??

 

Like my mum told me that the guy is a business major (my people studying business is also a big thing too I believe and is coming here to Australia (he’s already here in Australia unfortunately) to study. Like ok maybe he IS willing to financially support me ?? But who knows if he’s actually willing to though…cause I’m on the DSP and my main concern is that if him and I were to live together and I tell Centrelink about it, then they obviously will cut my payments off and I won’t have much to spend for myself…

 

I don’t have a job (though I only wanna pursue a career that’s related to the degree I’m currently undertaking)

Dreamy
Senior Contributor

Re: 😭

@Blackcloud There really is so many factors to consider and it's not an easy task. I think it's important not to rush into anything and also try not to think about all the 'what if's' (yes I know that's easier said than done).

 

Right now I think it's important to take time to focus on yourself, you have been through alot lately and it's some pretty heavy stuff. Give yourself some time to really try to process everything and then make some decisions from there. 

 

Just know we are here for you no matter what you choose, we will support you however we can ❤️

Re: 😭

@Dreamy I really appreciate this, thank you so much. ❤️🫂

 

People including you and others are the reason why I continue to become active on here and feel belonged on here when I don’t even have anyone else that I can talk or vent to about my problems. 

 

You’re such an amazing person, I hope you know that. 💕

Dreamy
Senior Contributor

Re: 😭

@Blackcloud awww thanks sweet ❤️

 

Having this space here is so important and invaluable. I've got noone in real life to talk to so knowing there's a whole community of support here really does help and mean so much. 

 

You are amazing and so very bright, I always love chatting to you ❤️

Re: 😭

@Dreamy ok my mum just responded back to me with so many messages. So from what she’s saying, she says that him and I are living together NOT because we want a kid but only because him and I can take care of each other and that the men in Cambodia are usually very responsible and can pretty always provide support for their wives. His parents are rich and not poor which is why they’ve sent him to come here to Australia to study and not in Cambodia (yes I’m ethnically Cambodian so to speak). She says if I don’t want kids then that’s fine but i would need someone that I can live with forever and look up to because mum herself won’t be able to live with me forever (understandable). She said she “never wished everything for” me and that if I have a man him and I can go out and travel together with happiness, and that if I have a person like him he can do everything to make me happy. He can also drive too (without me having to pay for taxis).

 

Thats actually a good thing that she accepts the fact that I don’t want kids.

 

But yeah I guess the important thing now is to actually get to know the guy better 😒

 

@rav3n 

Re: 😭

@Dreamy @In that case I guess that means I’ll have to fill in this form to withdraw my IVO if I could.

 

Hopefully the guy is actually a good man and knows how to respect and treat women.

Dreamy
Senior Contributor

Re: 😭

@Blackcloud I'm glad your mum has messaged you and explained things. 

 

I'm not sure how it works with having to withdraw an IVO but hopefully it's not too hard if that's what you want to do. 

 

I hope it all works out for you sweet ❤️

 

 

Re: 😭

@Dreamy I'm not even ready to meet up with him at this point, I would need more time to ...process it. The thought of having to be with someone makes me cry, as I'm so used and so much more comfortable being on my own. 🥲 I've already been having a lot of rough experiences trying to connect with people due to my autism diagnosis and so with the certain traits I've been having and developing since I was really young, I very much 100% have been used to.

Dreamy
Senior Contributor

Re: 😭

@Blackcloud that's why it's so important to take things at your own pace and not rush into anything. Maybe if and when you are ready you will connect with him, maybe he will be understanding and maybe things will work out with him. You can't force these things, we don't connect with everyone we cross paths with in life, some of us don't seem to connect with anyone at all. 

 

Be gentle with yourself and take time to process everything ❤️

Re: 😭

Hi @Dreamy @I’m broken 😞 

 

Even if you choose to revoke/withdraw your IVO application, apparently you and your respondent (my mum in this case) will need to attend court hearing. So in that case, I’ll have to present evidence to the magistrate to prove that that evidence meets the satisfaction of the revocation….😒😭

 

I’ve spent the whole evening and nighttime (didn’t get much sleep) googling several different questions looking for so many answers, and a lot of the answers that are generated by AI pop up everytime I search up questions - I don’t trust them cause they’re AI and they’re always not legitimate, like some of the answers they give they wanna make you feel relieved but then again you can’t trust them cause they’re AI.

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