I'm in a nest

[CheerBear]

Thank you @Former-Member. I don't feel like this is an achievement, I feel like this is a failure, but I think that's a reflection of where my head is more than anything. I think a lot of us would/have/do feel like that when we realise where we really are.

@Spookytookims - I am feeling jittery at the moment and am working on my drawing hoping to finish it tonight. It's helping me stay together. I am thinking a lot about you while I am colouring in, knowing how much I am putting in to it to get it right, and how much you put into writing your episodes to get them right. I'm really looking forward to showing it to you, even though I am kind of nervous about it. I haven't been able to venture far from this thread today so I haven't seen you around aside from here. It feels a bit strange not to check in and see how you are though. So if you're up for popping by to say hi I would love to hear how you're going today. Totally ok if you don't though. If I don't see you here I'll climb out of the nest and drop my drawing outside the cave on Turtle Island when it's finished.

[Spookytookims]

@CheerBear  I've not really been on much and the here and there.  I'm so looking forward to your  picture, that is one of the few things I am sure of at the moment.

You know that boat that sits out in the ocean and we need to just be to try to reassess... that's kind of where I am today.  But it's not helping yet so I need to just be patient and sit while it rocks me (without hopefully me ending up seasick 😛 )

I have no idea what will be next on Turtle Island and I think it's because at the moment when I think of the forum my thoughts just go to you and the pooload of cr@p that has, mostly unnecessarily, been dropped on you.  It irks me an I really dislike feeling in a helpless situation.  This is absolutely no fault of yours in any way shape or form.  My frustration stems from the fact we are living with a broken system that is not getting better, it's getting worse.

I just hope that you can find the strength to see a way through it and make the right decisions for you. I can't really do or say much more than that, other than to say as you know...   bears and hearts and stuff definitely coming your way in droves.

[Spookytookims]

Are you feeling any better about the decision you have made.. or are you still thinking this way and that on it?  What's the best case scenario you think could come out of it if everything was ideal? @CheerBear

[CheerBear]

I really hope you don't get too sea sick out there @Spookytookims! Please don't forget there are many wonderful sea creatures here for you if you think it will help. This most definitely includes me (provided I'm not drowning in a whirlpool). I am sorry that you feel stuck about TI and that the pickle I am in has impacted on you too. It's so broken, this awful system.

I got a phone call from my psych that has shaken me a little and I feel nervous now. But I am trying to put it into a box of 'it's not helpful to think about at the moment'.

I will get back to the drawing now so I can show you. Thank you for coming past my thoughtful friend ❤️

[Spookytookims]

I'm ok @CheerBear  you just look after yourself.   I need that Cheer bear back!  🙂 

[Spookytookims]

Should I say.. I need Cheer bear Grylls back  🙂  @CheerBear  The island is not the same without Cheer bear Grylls.

        

[Former-Member]

Cuppa for you @CheerBear @Spookytookims
☕🍰☕🍰
Nighty night 😴💟💕

[CheerBear]

CBG is heading to the Island now @Spookytookims and will be back on land there properly soon, I'm sure. I was thinking about your earlier question re what I'm hoping to get out of this thing. The best answer I can think of is that as long as I don't have any form of order placed on me, am not too badly thrown back into trauma land, not shaking and stuttering when I walk out, and the others swimming in my ocean are not put in the path of the storm that has made a very special kind of mark on my public mental health record (which I found the full extent of tonight), I'll try take it as a not all so terrible thing. Given my very helpful but not always totally reliable psych has shown that when it most counts, they really have my back, the first and last things shouldn't happen at least.

Good night and cheers again to all the lovely people here who sat again with me through this pickle. It meant and means so much 💛

[Spookytookims]

@CheerBear  leaving a good morning here.. and a little confused when you're expecting the possible catt call in, but if it is before I see you, I hope everything goes ok today and works out whichever way you want it to.

🐻💝💫✨🐣

[CheerBear]

Mega shaky this morning. I have to get LF off to school and I've left myself a huge basket of folding to do which I can focus on to get some of the energy out. My appointment is around lunch time @Spookytookims. Thank you for your good morning and thoughts. I'll have the nest with me in my pocket again and will visit it here and in my mind I'm sure.

I'm having my morning cuppa and then am going to start busying myself so I don't end up stuck in a spinning whirpool again. Trusting myself I've made a good decision here.

Hope it's a good day for everyone