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Hi @Phoenix_Rising also a quick stop in to let you know I am thinking of you and I really hope this morning goes well for you...
So...you know it's a bad therapy session when you are in such crisis and so chaotic you call the SANE helpline WHILE YOU ARE STILL IN THE THERAPY SESSION WITH THE THERAPIST SITTING THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It is not good for the therapist to take a phone call from another client ten seconds into the session. It is REALLY not good when a random stranger knocks on the door during the session. It is ESPECIALLY not good for the therapist to then try to soothe the distressed client by touching her without first asking, and it is ABSOLUTELY DEFINITELY not good to ask the by now completely out of control client if the therapist should call an ambulance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And thus endeth the relationship with therapist-take-eleven. I'm not even entirely sure who ended it. I think in my brain I was already thinking I would be sacking her, but she sacked me as a client before I had the chance to sack her...so I guess you'd say it was mutual.
I can't do this anymore. I am done. Somehow I need to figure out how to fix my muddle on my own. I know (A) is there as a form of social support, and I deeply value that. However we both know that she doesn't know how to actually help me. And the reality is that I simply cannot try for therapist-take-twelve. An incident like today just further fries my brain. Somehow (and right now I have no idea how), I need to figure out how to heal my scrambled brain on my own.
@CheerBear methinks I am going to snuggle into your pocket with Squishy and Mr Seahorse and never ever come out. Right now your pocket is the safest place in the world for me.
@NikNik super big gigantic thank you for creating Forum Land because right now this forum and the eternally patient and caring @Former-Member @Former-Member and @Former-Member on the end of the phone are pretty much holding this little turtle together.
I want to fix my brain NOW...but I think today and most likely tomorrow, and probably the day after that, and the one after that is going to be all about just trying to ride this current absurdly large wave. Thank you for riding with me.
You need a shoulder @Phoenix_Rising ..... I don't know who on your list's shoulder this is ..... but it is here for you anyway ...
Hugs n hugs little turtle ... 💚🐢💚 ..... and a beach ..... 🏝🏖
I am here for you too @Phoenix_Rising 
, but no hugs as i know you don`t like hugs BUT i am thinking of you my friend
I am so sorry to hear that things went so badly. I agree that none of those things are good at all. I understand how hard it is to have a brain that feels fried, and how hard it is when it fry happens with someone who you hope can help fix a brain, not further fry it.
Right now I am wearing a very distinctive dressing gown (it's one of those afternoons) with big roomy pockets, but because of that I can't share a photo of it. I carefully placed everyone in the next best thing to roomy dressing gown pockets - my pink fluffy blanket, which is currently over me, for this picture. This pink fluffy blanket has gotten me through some very tough times, so I can vouch for it being very safe and snuggly. I'll move everyone back to my pocket now and we can sit here like this for as long as it takes.
As you can see, even Mr Seahorse respects your touch sensitivity, so his nose has stayed well away this time.
I think it's time to look for that crochet psychiatrist/psychologist pattern to add to the collection.
Hi little turtle @Phoenix_Rising I did see your post earlier but was unable to respond and didn't feel it was appropriate to 'like' your post. I cannot believe how unprofessional - even to the point of being totally dismissive - this therapist was. I can believe you called SANE helpline while there though as I also know how wonderfully supportive @Former-Member @Former-Member and @Former-Member are. If only we could cone them all and have them available throughout Australia so everyone who needs it can feel so listened to and supported!
I honestly do not know where to from here for you but I do know that I am here - by your side but not touching - and will walk with you when I can - just like you have done for me. I don't think you realise how important your support has been for me. The fact that you have gone completely out of your comfort zone to 'touch my hand' when I have been very low has meant so much to me (along with you not 'freaking out' when I have been very naughty and sent you little love hearts 
).
You have an amazing not-friend in @CheerBear and many, many people here who love your sense of humour, intelligence and honesty. You bring so much to this community - maybe it is just the rest of the world that needs to catch up with you - not the other way around!
As I said - I certainly don't have any answers little turtle - but I am here for you. (I would insert a loveheart here but to respect you tonight I will not!)
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