@Faith-and-Hope I am not doing well at al today so probably won't be around long. Going to take my meds early, plus a few more, and curl up on the couch to hopefully sleep. I really need to sleep and get out of my head. I wanted to reply to you first though.
Love ya Hon 
I so much want to be here for you Hon and I'll stay as long as I can. Tell me all about it - it will be a good distraction for now @Faith-and-Hope
I really wish I could be there for you - I really hate what you are having to deal with. It is so unfair that someone so lovely is having to put up with such emotional abuse. I am so sorry you have to live like this sweetheart 
The next week or so is going to be extremely hard for me so hearing about your painting - and anything else positive - will really help. I haven't been able to paint myself - tried to get things out yesterday but was too tired.
Sorry Hon - I did fall asleep last night @Faith-and-Hope I woke up really early this morning, let Toby out and then dozed on and off for the next few hours. It wasn't a good sleep but at least I have slept a little.
It was lovely to wake up and be able to read - and visualise - what you are painting. I have a really lovely image in my mind now 
It sounds amazing.
As for WH - he's saying you are the absent parent - what a contradiction 
He really is trying to further alienate you with both his words and actions - playing games and thinking only of himself. I feel for you so much sweetheart - I want to come over there and shake some sense into him - but I also know that wouldn't help - it would just make him out to be more of the 'victim' in this scenario. I really do not know how you keep it together - you truly have the kindest and most courageous soul
I can however hear how hard this is becoming for you and know inside you are really 'suffering'. I so wish this wasn't happening for you Hon
If all I can do is be here for you then that is what I will do. I am not in a place to be able to support most people at the moment so my sole focus is being able to be here for you - to be able to do that for you is very important to me - because you are very important to me I hope that is ok with you!
love and hugs...
Zoe
@Faith-and-Hope The one thing that is keeping me connected here atm and keeping me going is the knowing I have you around to support me and I can hopefully in turn do the same for you. It is so difficult for me to not want to 'run away' and be completely on my own again. I know that is my pattern of behaviour when my life is getting too tough to deal with but I also know that is when I don't care about anything and I become unsafe to myself. I know there are many, many people here that would like to provide this support but I can't ask when I am feeling this way - but with you it is easy 
FC - and I can give as much as I 'take'. I don't have the energy or cannot deal with the struggles of others as much - too many triggers and not in the right headspace to think and respond - that doesn't mean I am not thinking about others - because I am all the time - but I am really trying to stay alive and get through this. Usually I would do it on my own but I know this hasn't had good outcomes for me previously - so please let me know if you need a 'break' from me also. I understand how supporting someone can become personally too much, especially when you have your own 'stuff' to deal with. In saying this - I am definitely here for YOU - and you help me more than you could know with your strength, courage, resilience, compassion and hope. You are one in a million and I love you so much for just being YOU